


Break Your Halo

by momiji_neyuki



Series: The Shadow Side [5]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Domestic Violence, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, Extremely Dubious Consent, Forced Drug Use, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mental Instability, Overdosing, Physical Abuse, no one dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 01:49:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7339624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momiji_neyuki/pseuds/momiji_neyuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <b>I'll break your halo,</b>
  <br/>
  <b>When you try to rise above me</b>
  <br/>
  <b>I'll break your halo</b>
  <br/>
  <b>I'm the only hope you've got to see the light</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Your Halo

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> So this is the big one, the changing point for this series. Frank sees that his actions have consequences and sometimes...sacrifices too. :(
> 
> Please enjoy guys.

_***Time Stamp: One Year Later***_

”Gerard, please.”

”Mikey, I’m fine, he said he was sorry.”

”HE ALWAYS SAYS HE’S FUCKING SORRY!”

Gerard cringed and Mikey calmed down.

”Look, Gee, look at yourself.”

Mikey moved Gerard in front of the mirror.

”You lost so much weight, I can see your collarbones. Your hair is so brittle from your lack of nutrients.”

He carefully pulled the front of Gerard’s shirt up. His concave stomach and chest were riddled with bruises, fresh and healing.

”This is not love. Not the drugs, not the alcohol, not the rough sex he forces on you. Nothing about this says he loves you.”

”But he says he does.”

Mikey could barely hear Gerard when he said this.

”When is the last time he actually said those words without waiting till after he hurt you?”

Gerard had no answer for him.

”Look, Gee, you have it in you to be strong and amazing, but you have to get away from him first, please.”

Gerard sighed in defeat. He knew Mikey was right.

”Okay, Mikey, okay.”

Mikey hugged Gerard tightly.

”Come on, let go watch the People Under the Stairs and order Chinese.”

* * *

Frank was pissed. He sat at the kitchen table with the bottle of whiskey that he started this afternoon. He had come home early from work to find Gerard had gone to his brother’s. He was pissed cause he had just scored and wanted to do a few lines with his boyfriend, but instead he had been steadily cannonballing both drugs all afternoon. Now it was getting to dinner and Gerard was still not home. Frank completely missed the note on the fridge that told Frank of Gerard’s plans tonight.

**Life is the pain of the pictures in my mind.**

**Fear is the child I left behind.**

*

*

*

The whiskey was gone now and so was the cocaine. Frank woke up to the sound of the door opening. He sat up too fast and felt the blood drip out of his nose.

”Hey, Frankie.”

Gerard walked in and put his keys on the table. He took his coat off and hung it over the chair.

”I hope you liked the quiche. I was able to find a good sale on asparagus.”

Gerard took off his shoes and groaned rubbing his feet.

”I brought you dessert from the diner. Mikey says hi.”

Of course that was not true but it made Gerard feel better.

”I’ll just put it in the fridge.”

Gerard walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. The quiche was still there, untouched.

”Frankie, were you not hungry?”

Gerard looked in the living room and saw the top of Frank’s head on the sofa. Maybe he was asleep?

”Frankie?”

Gerard put the pie in the fridge and then headed to the living room.

”Hey, baby?”

”Where were you?”

Gerard swallowed hard.

”I told you, I was out with Mikey. I left you a note and…”

”Don’t fucking lie to me.”

”I’m not, look, you can see it on the fridge.”

Gerard went to leave and then cried out as Frank grabbed his arm hard.

**I'm never ashamed of the scars you see across my face.**

**I'm only afraid that this will change.**

”Frankie, please.”

”I said stop lying to me, you bitch!”

The connection was instantaneous, but he still saw the fist coming at him in slow motion as he cried out. Gerard fell backwards out of Frank’s grasp and hit the breakfast island. His phone flew out of his pocket. Frank picked up the phone and scrolled through it. At first Gerard was more worried about his nose, but, then he remembered the texts he had with Mikey.

**I'll break your halo,**

**When you try to rise above me**

”Frank, no wait!”

It was too late. Frank found them. He read them all and started to shake with rage.

”You’re leaving me? You think you’re leaving me?”

”No, Frankie, it was just talk, I was li…”

”DON’T BULLSHIT ME, GERARD WAY!”

Frank grabbed Gerard and smashed him against the counter. He punched him in the stomach hard enough for Gerard to gasp for air.

”F-F-F-Frankie.”

”No, shut the fuck up, Gerard! I can’t believe you were going to leave me and rehab, really? You thought that you would be safe from me in rehab? The only way you are getting away from me is if I kill you!”

Frank lifted Gerard and punched him in the chest this time. Gerard heard the crack and knew he had a broken rib. He collapsed limp in Frank’s arms. Frank dropped him and stalked away.

”You are nothing without me!”

Frank began to pace, getting more and more agitated.

”I took you in when you lost your job! I let you live here for free! I even paid for your fucking cocaine!”

Gerard tried to get up and Frank ran over and kicked him in the stomach.

**I'll show you my own hell.**

**I can reach right down and pull you out**

”You think you can survive without me? You think I will _allow_ you to even try!?”

Frank reached out and grabbed Gerard by the hair. He dragged him back into the bedroom. Gerard was screaming but Frank knew that no one would come. He threw the slip of a man onto the bed. Gerard curled into a ball. He was in so much pain; more because he had very little mass left to protect the delicate features of his body.

”What is it, Gee, huh? Is our lifestyle not good enough for you? My job, the place we live? You think I like living in this apartment? You think I don’t want a better life with a family and children and not need to crawl into a bottle to deal or shove shit up my nose? Those days are long gone and they are never coming back!”

**If I can change this life,**

**I would make things right,**

**I would keep my shit together**

Frank began to pace again. Gerard watched him as he shivered from the pain and chill in the room. Frank kept the air on no matter what time of year. He was always hot but Gerard had trouble holding in his body heat because of the loss of so much weight.

”Fuck, my high is gone, this sucks! Look what you made me do! I need to fix this.”

Frank stormed out of the room. He found his jacket and pulled out his surprise that he had for Gerard tonight. He carried the package in to the bedroom excited to show his boyfriend.

”Look, Gee, look what I got. Mac said the first one was for free and then if we liked it, we could talk.”

Gerard was not surprised how quickly Frank went from being enraged to giddy. The drugs often did that to him. Still he could not understand what had Frank so happy.

**I'll break your halo**

**I'm the only hope you've got to see the light**

Frank opened up the small package. In there was the small package of heroin as well as the needle. Frank wasn’t ready to go that far, but he was told that snorting it would make a good high too. He spread out the package on the small mirror and lined them up. He turned to show Gerard.

”Hey, baby, why are you all curled up like that? Come on; let’s give this shit a try.”

Frank carried the mirror over to the bed. He propped the pillows up and helped Gerard sit up.

”You can go first, baby.”

Gerard was not really feeling this but he didn’t want Frank to lash out again. He leaned over and took the unusual colored powder up his nose. It burned more than any other time. Gerard clutched his nose.

”Fuck, what is that?”

”Brown sugar, baby. Come on take another hit.”

Again Gerard didn’t want to but he did as he was told. He fell back onto the bed squirming from the pain in his nasal cavity and the pain in his body, although that was starting to subside as the drug coursed through his veins. He heard Frank take his own share in and then Frank was on top of him.

”So beautiful, Gee. Mine forever.”

Gerard closed his eyes, letting the high take him away. He felt his clothing being removed. He felt himself being prepped and then Frank was inside of him grunting and straining. Gerard tried to enjoy it but the drug was pulling him under. What was that?

_***Time Stamp: One Month Later***_

”It’s not enough anymore. We need to…”

”Frankie, you can, I just rather snort.”

”But, Gee, you get the high faster.”

Frank whined. They had talked about this. Frank wanted to go from snorting to shooting up cause you got the high faster, but Gerard was afraid of needles and always pushed the idea off.

**My heart grows numb as the tide rolls in**

**And all the waves come crashing down**

”Frankie, I’m fine.”

”Fine.”

Gerard breathed a sigh of relief that Frank didn’t argue anymore. He turned and went to lie down so he didn’t see Frank preparing the needle.

* * *

”Fuck selfish fuck.”

Frank grumbled as filled the needle with the now cooled solution. He held the rubber tube in his teeth tight to make the vein pop. Carefully he inserted the point and after seeing the blood, pushed the solution in. He groaned as he watched the liquid leave the protective case and felt it flowing through his body.

”Fuuuuuck”

He felt better than he had in years. Fuck cocaine and snorting this stuff. This was the high he had been chasing all his life. He felt boneless and relaxed. He let the moment drift him into bliss. When he came around he decided that Gerard needed to experience it too. He prepared the other package, filled the syringe and headed to the bedroom.

”Hey, Gee, you…”

Gerard was asleep in their bed. Frank decided that it was the perfect moment. He quietly entered the room.

**Swallow your dreams and the love that kept you hanging on**

**Without my voice you'll lose yourself**

Frank wrapped the tube around Gerard’s arm. He swabbed the area with an alcohol pad. He found the perfect vein and brought the needle toward it.

”You’re gonna thank me for this, Gee.”

He pricked the skin and saw Gerard’s face furrow. He giggled a little and then making sure he was properly lined up, pushed the drug out and into Gerard. After a few minutes he saw Gerard starting to react.

”Frankie…”

Gerard felt funny. He felt like he was being held underwater.

”Fraaaaaankie, wats goooinnnnn…”

He was having trouble speaking. He couldn’t connect the words in his brain. He stomach felt off, like he had to piss or throw up.

”I gottttaaaaa….”

Frank laughed as he watched Gerard try to get off the bed. He put the needle down on the nightstand to watch the show. Gerard got to the end of the bed and then fell off. Frank laughed.

”You look so silly, Gee.”

”Feeeeel strannnnnnn…”

Gerard tried to push himself back up on his feet and fell again. He crawled his way to the wall and used it to push himself up.

”Frannnnnn….”

Gerard started to feel dizzy.

”Come back to bed, Gee.”

**What we had was just perfect enough**

**Taking its toll can last forever**

Gerard just nodded and stumbled forward, landing face first. Frank laughed again and got off the bed. He went around to help Gerard up. Frank was still feeling his own high as he stared at Gerard’s ass. He ran and hand over it and watched Gerard shiver.

”You like that, huh, Gee?”

Gerard made a gurgling noise and Frank took that as a good sign. He slipped his hands inside Gerard’s pants and grabbed his cock. It was soft.

”Need more to get you going, huh?”

Frank slipped his pants off and then opened his own. He stared at the mounds of flesh in front him. He kneaded them lightly with his hands.

”I wanna fuck you, Gee.”

Another garbled noise left the body.

Frank was not thinking at all. His mind was too far gone on the drugs. Without any prep or lube, he pushed into Gerard. There was a small protest from the body below him, but nothing else. Things started to slick up as the blood flowed out of the opening and Frank thought it was such a pretty color against Gerard’s pale skin. Then he gripped Gerard’s hips and went to work chasing his own orgasm. When he was done, he pulled out.

”Tired. Come on, Gee, sleep now.”

Frank pulled Gerard onto the bed and then pulled them both to the pillows.

”Sleep now, baby.”

No noise was heard from Gerard and Frank curled around him and let the blackness take over.

*

*

*

Mikey had not heard from Gerard. They were supposed to hang out today and Mikey was getting worried. Gerard still hadn’t heeded his brother’s advice and left Frank. He was also still doing the drugs. Lately Gerard had looked worse and Mikey was worried that he had gotten into something more dangerous. He climbed the last flight to Frank and Gerard’s floor. He walked to the end of the hallway and knocked on the door.

* * *

”Wazzat?”

Frank heard a noise in the living room. He tried to get up but Gerard was a heavy weight on him.

”Get off me, fat ass.”

Frank grumbled and pushed Gerard away. He sat up and heard the noise again. He realized that it was someone at the door. Frank slipped into his boxers and then left the room.

”Hold on, I’m coming!”

Frank growled as he tore the door open to see the younger Way in front of him.

”Waddya want?”

”Where’s Gerard.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a demand.

”Sleeping.”

Frank was already walking away from the door to find his cigarettes. Mikey followed him.

”He was supposed to meet me for lunch two hours ago.”

”Yeah, well he was busy with me. Fat ass doesn’t need more food anyway.”

”Shut the fuck up, Frank! You make the boy starve himself!”

”You shut the fuck up! Who the fuck are you to come into my house and talk to me like that?!”

”Someone who actually loves him!”

Mikey headed to the bedroom with Frank chasing him.

”Get the fuck out!”

”No, I need to see my brother!”

Mikey got to the bedroom and gasped. Gerard was sprawled out on the bed half naked. His lower half was stained with blood along with the bedsheets. Mikey spun around!

”You fucking raped him while he was sleeping!?”

Before Frank could blink he was knocked on his ass as Mikey punched him hard. Mikey ran in the room.

”Gee! Gee, come on, I’m getting you out of here!”

Mikey touched Gerard and he felt cold.

”Gee?”

Mikey shook Gerard.

”Gee!?”

He grabbed him and shook his even harder, slapping him in the face.

”GERARD!”

”Why are you shouting?”

Frank came into the room dazed like he didn’t remember Mikey was here.

”What is wrong with him!?”

Frank looked at Gerard, He looked fine to him…although there was blood. He couldn’t remember what that was from.

”I told you he’s sleeping.”

Mikey lifted one of Gerard’ eyelids. They look glassy. Then he saw it, the needle on the stand.

”Fuck, he's not sleeping, he’s ODing!”

”What?!”

Mikey whipped out his phone and called 911. Frank stumbled to the bed and grabbed Gerard roughly.

”Gerard? Gerard?! Oh God, I’m so sorry! I just wanted you to have fun with me! I didn’t mean for this to happen!”

Mikey pushed Frank away from his brother as he ended the call.

”How did you get him to take a needle?!”

”I….uh….”

”You didn’t ask him did you?! Did you!? You shot him up in his sleep and then you raped him!”

”I didn’t! We’re together so it isn’t rape!”

”It is if he is unconscious or out of it!”

As Frank and Mikey argued over the body, the paramedics rushed in. They grabbed Gerard and put him on the stretcher and started an IV.

”What happened?”

**And I would give my life, just to make things right**

**Got to keep my shit together**

Frank was in shambles. What Mikey had said was setting in.

”No, no no no no NO NO NO NO NO!”

He pushed the medic out of the way.

”No, Gee, you can’t leave me, you can’t!”

”Sir, we need to get him to the hospital fast!”

Mikey grabbed Frank and pulled him away so that they could leave.

”GERARD!”

Mikey punched Frank in the face again.

”If my brother dies, I will kill you.”

Mikey stalked out of the house, leaving Frank on the floor of his bedroom with a bloody nose.

”No no, I can’t lose her again. I can’t.”

Frank looked up, something he had not done in years.

”Please, please save him. I know I don’t deserve to ask, but please. Don’t let him leave like she did.”

**All I want is another one chance**

**All I need is one more broken heart**


End file.
